Way of the Warrior
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot drabble: A warrior is meant to live in the moment and not form attatchments to others. In Karst's mind, this is why she failed. In the end, it turned out to be for a different reason.


Way of the Warrior

Disclaimer: Camelot owns Golden Sun and all its characters.

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**Pain**

Pain, despite its unpleasantness, was a necessary evil. It was through pain that animals could survive, simply one of many senses that, in its case, alerted its recipient to the fact that harm to their body was occurring. It was said that pain was one of the things in life that made you human.

Of course, that didn't mean you always had to acknowledge this fact. Karst, like many of her Proxian warrior brethren, viewed pain as nothing more than a sign of weakness, simply a curse of their existence that had to be repressed. If pain was ever felt it was to be ignored.

Karst had felt pain in recent times, both physical and spiritual. The news that her elder sister had been killed had caused painful emotions, emotions that a warrior should never feel. Developing close friendships with comrades was one of the worst sins you could commit after all. Those who fought as allies on one battlefield could be enemies on the next. A warrior was a tool, nothing more. He or she could believe in what she was fighting for but sooner or later conscience would become a problem.

Karst knew that she'd fallen into such a trap. After all, hadn't the events at Jupiter Lighthouse been testament to that tried and tested philosophy? Allies could indeed become enemies, Felix was testament to that. The weakness that had engulfed Karst had probably contributed to the next wave of pain she felt, namely that of crippling wounds and injured pride.

And conscience had indeed come into effect, yet not in the way she'd been taught about. It was regret at past actions that was weighing down on her, a guilty conscience at her savage attacks on her former ally. No, ally was too base a word for what she'd begun to feel. Yet she dared not utter the noun that she would use to call Felix at this point in time. She wouldn't be a warrior anymore.

The spiritual pain was still with her, yet the physical wasn't. Why this should be was a mystery. After all, lying on the cold stone floor of Mars Lighthouse with numerous wounds from swords and psyenergy didn't exactly make for a healthy body. If she couldn't feel physical pain, what did that mean? Was she still human?

**Fear**

Fear was beginning to overtake Karst, yet another sign of weakness. Fear had no place for one such as her, just like pain and ammority. Fear was simply a sign of an inability to function. A warrior had to live in the moment, with no regret for the past and no concern for the future. That's what fear was, simply an inability to live in the moment.

As of now, Karst couldn't live in the moment. Fear was overtaking her. Fear that something had happened to stop her and Agatio from lighting the beacon. A fear that something had happened to prevent her from feeling pain, something that she never would have welcomed before. A fear that she could never make up for what had occurred at Jupiter Lighthouse. Perhaps that fear was the scariest of all, considering that for someone who was meant to live in the moment and not form attactchments, that was the greatest fear of all.

**Sorrow**

Sorrow was weighing down on her, even as her vision cleared and saw the nine individuals standing before her, one particular individual catching her eye. Just like three years ago. Felix had certainly changed, apart from physical appearance. Perhaps it was his unmoving nature that appealed to her, epitomising everything that Karst hoped to be. He didn't form attachments with those around him, he lived in the moment, always focusing on what was occurring rather than past events. Yes, he was a true warrior.

Or not. Clearly he was capable of change, as Jupiter Lighthouse had shown. Perhaps it was this shattering of the image Karst had formed that truly weighed down on her. Sorrow was felt then, more than she should have felt. Ironic that the epitome of what Karst hoped to be revealed her as the antithesis of what she'd sought for.

And sorrow was being felt now. Karst told Felix what she had to tell him, about the Mars Star, the eye… She couldn't tell him of her sorrow, of her regret, of her conscience…Basically, the sum of her failure. Even as he and the adepts walked away the sorrow continued to weigh down on her. Would anything change that?

And what of Felix? Hadn't he aspired to be a warrior, to live in the moment? Hadn't he succeeded in not forming attachments? What hope was there for the lighting of the beacon? It turned out that he almost as little of a warrior than she was. What hope was there?

**Joy**

The lighting of the beacon brought a degree of this emotion, yet puzzlement. Yes, Felix wasn't as colossal a failure as she was, yet still seemed to lack a degree of single mindedness and have conscience bear down on him, still holding on to old friendships. How could he have succeeded?

And it was then Karst realised why.

He could change.

Karst had adhered blindly to a path and was devastated when she deviated from it. Felix could bear such deviation. He didn't live in the moment. He could use such attachments to his advantage, at least if the proximity of the small female wind adept was anything to go by.

That was what Karst and Agatio, even Saturos and Menardi lacked-adaptability. If man blindly went down a single, unbending course, how was there any hope? How could living in the moment forge a future, if the future was never looked to? Building the future and keeping the past alive were one and the same. If man had remained in the present continuously, Weyard would still be consumed by war. If man hadn't changed the world would have crumbled into nothingness.

Knowledge was a virtue and one had to seek it, lest that individual stagnate. Karst smiled as the knowledge of her realisation poured in, and felt one final emotion before the darkness that was the punishment for single mindedness took her;

**Contentment**

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End file.
